On with the show

After 'Little Shop' ended a couple of weeks ago, I have been roped in to directing the next show - "Hi-de-hi". I remember watching this 80's sitcom as a kid - I don't recall much content from the shows, but I distinctly remember the characters. From reading the play, the writers have taken bits and bobs from various episodes and made a little story out of them. I imagine it's going to feel like a number of linked sketches because of this - But I will try and make it as fun as possible to do.

Auditions are next week and i'm dreading them! I hate auditions as an actor, absolutley despise them! I never feel prepared enough and the nerves usually get to me in the end...and then you have the awful feeling when you are told you were unsuccessful! Now it's going to have to be me doing the letting down for some people!!! :s Deep down i'm still hoping that one person goes for each part and they're all fantastic so I won't have to upset anyone! Reality tells me this is unlikely!

I have also been working on a website as an information base for my 'secret' writing group, i'm using Wix, which is a flash based website builder - it's really easy...just click and drop sort of things - nothing too complicated for my newbie mind! I've finised the home page (I wonder if you can add pictures to this thing?):

Aha! so you can! I'm happy with my Insignia, but the font needs to be a little clearer...perhaps a gothic one will look better. Now all I need to do is fill it with writing! :D

Opening Night

Tonight is the opening night for our production of 'Little Shop of Horrors'. I am both excited and nervous in equal measure. Nerves is something I deeply suffer from during shows, even the thought of it now is turning my stomach! The dressing room will not have a nice odour come tonight! Upon reflection, this is probably a good sign - it shows I don't feel complacent before entering the scene, and that I still care enough about my performance to be frightened of it. Once i'm on the stage though, I tend to relax a bit - this is likely due to the adrenaline kicking in! I know my lines, my song lyrics and my dance moves (although these can also just as easily disappear with the slightest loss of concentration) and along with the great storyline of the show, i'm sure we'll all have a blast doing it!

This afternoon I have got to go searching for a gay porn magazine to swap with one of my cast members 'prop magazine' for the last night prank...LET THE GAMES BEGIN! HEYYY-OHHHH!

Motivation is the key to success

I have been thinking a lot recently about 'success'

With me, success would be recognition as a playwright and relative fame as a comedy actor. Ideas constantly dart inside my mind throughout the day as I day dream or stand having a smoke. Boredom certainly is a catalyst of creativity! My problem is, rarely does any of those ideas come into fruition - they entertain me for the time I am bored but then evaporate as quickly as they appear. On some occasions I have forced myself to write the idea down: An interesting character here or a play concept there. But these usually end up wrapped up in a small red book I keep in my bedroom drawer called "Play Ideas". This little book was created when I was in Uni and I will sometimes read through the old scraps of scribbled notes or drawings I have collected over the years - but all that comes from that is a nostalgic trip...never anything of substance!

This has led me to believe that success is truly down to 'motivation' and not necessarily 'talent'. Perhaps there is an abundance of people who truly could do a better job than their successful counterparts, but are locked in their lives through a general realization that it would require real effort to do so. Many famous actors and playwrights seem to have some amazing story from their past that inspired them into becoming what they are - rarely do we hear about an average Joe who decided one day to become a playwright and achieved instant acclaim (although this DOES happen). It seems to me that if you are at all content with your life at the moment, there is little chance of you pushing yourself to find that success.

My day-to-day life consists of going to work in an office doing the nine-to-five, going home at the end of the day and entertaining myself through TV shows, movies, messing about on the internet or video gaming. Sometimes my spare time will be taken up by rehearsals for my next show with an am-dram group or going out for some event with friends. And i'm happy with that. I'm content! I love watching old British sit-coms or the latest big budget American drama show (it's House at the moment!) and the am-dram group keeps me involved in my love for acting. This doesn't mean I never dream about success - I still feel envious pain when I hear about my acting buddies of the past performing in West End Shows or spending the day filming for something, but that's natural.

Time seems to be the key - I live by the code that you should never work more than you play, and so when I finish my day job, my free time is very much down to what I enjoy doing the most. But I am also mindful that come the day that I 'shuffle off this mortal coil' I will look at my life and be filled with regret - why didn't I never finish that play! Why didn't I go to that audition! Perhaps I should set aside one night of my free time and add a little personal work to the agenda...

Never keeping up with a blog

I seem to excel at this - I start strong and with purpose, but soon lose interest or completely forget about blogs...I don't know how some people manage to find the time to lay down their thoughts and aspirations on a regular basis - I guess you have to force yourself to 'find time' but that all sounds like too much hard work!

The other problem I have is, how embarrassed I feel when I re-read old posts...either my opinions vary greatly over the months and years between starting blogs or I havn't grasped that all important gift of writing in your true voice...to me, I always sound a little too pretentious and arrogant when I read posts back to myself after a long period of time.

With this particular blog, I am forcing myself to keep the old crap rather than starting afresh in the hope that at least if I fail to keep up this time, it might make a decent collection by the time i'm 50 or so...

LIFE UPDATE
Still working in the same office and still with the same girl - perhaps there is a deeper meaning as to why I give up on blogs so easily, nothing exciting happening! I always feel that to have a successful blog you have to be really interesting or extremely fanatical about what you are writing - this removed 90% of the general population who are either plodding on with their average lives and are 'normal' enough not to care about anything.

That definately sounds like me!